


Karma

by Momoriiing17



Category: GOT7
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Heavy Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Park Jinyoung | Jr.-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-12 00:42:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19218130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momoriiing17/pseuds/Momoriiing17
Summary: I don't know why I wrote this but it just happened so enjoy this ff.





	Karma

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this but it just happened so enjoy this ff.

Today is suppose to be a memorable day as today is our wedding anniversary. I was excited as I have planned something today. I even woke up very early and went to the market to buy everything I need for the dinner date I planned but it was all in vain as to I am here waiting for you all night with the dish I cooked and a red wine to make the perfect night but you didn't come home. You didn't even left a text or even call me to say that you won't be home. Here I am waiting for you patiently but has been stood up on my own wedding anniversary. I haven't even ate yet as I was expecting that we will eat together.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was already midnight. I waited for 6 hours here inside our house with a candle light dinner. I stood up and picked up the food and put it inside the refrigerator. I know you're questioning me about not eating as to I haven't ate anything yet but I don't have the appetite to eat anymore. Who would've if you're being stood up by your own husband -- arranged husband.

I am really dejected with what happened today but I know that he has an explanation about this. I know that he didn't forget that today is our anniversary. I know that he will not stood me up and something just happened in their company and he needed to stay late at his office. 

And when the morning came all I thought about yesterday was just a thought. I opened my phone and saw that there was messages from our friends greeting us happy anniversary but one message stood out the most. A photo was sent to me from an anonymous person. There was my husband, Jaebeom, and his ex, Youngjae, happily spending their night together while I was all alone all night waiting for him to come home. Pain was all over me with what I saw on the picture. It felt like time stopped and all I can see is the picture that was sent to me. Did they spend the night together? Did they sleep on the same bed? Did I came across his mind even once? Did he even think about me and our wedding anniversary? All these questions are flooding inside of me. A sofr ping from my phone woke me up from these thoughts. I looked at my phone and saw that it was another picture. It was them having breakfast together with smiles on their faces.

I immediately went out of the house and went to the restaurant they were eating and saw it with my own eyes that he, Jaebeom and his ex, Youngjae, really is together. I stood here outside the restaurant and just looked at them with longing in my eyes. I don't know how long I was staring at them but I came back to reality when someone nudged me on my shoulder and asked me if everything was okay. I nodded and told him that everything was fine. As the person left, I looked inside the restaurant again and what I saw made my eyes wide and tears started to fall. Inside the restaurant was my husband and his ex kissing passionately that it seems like they have their own little world and no one can stop them. I wanted to move and tear them apart but I can't. It feels like I was pasted with a very sticky glue on the floor. All I can do was to close my eyes and calm my breath but I can't knowing what is happening inside the restaurant. And after a while I managed to move my feet but it was to move far away from the restaurant.

After all these years, I thought that finally forgotten everything about him and let go but it was just all in my head. It was always him, everything is about him, even this house that we lived in. The colors of the wall, the paintings that are hanging on the wall and even the flowers planted in the garden are all about him. His favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite past time. All of these are about him. Have you ever asked me if I liked them? I am even allergic to shrimp but endured eating it because I love you and I thought that it will make you happy knowing that shrimp is what he eats the most. I suffered so much but endured everything hoping that one day you will forget about him and love me back. But what did I receive in return for loving you whole-heartedly? This pain inside me? This gnawing feeling inside my heart? Questions inside my head that I can't even answer. I really don't know if I can still hold onto this. Is this love worth the pain? Is it worth the wait? Is this suffering worth it? Tell me if this is and I will hold onto this single thread that is keeping me here. Tell me if this love is worth fighting for and I will fight for it til the end. But I don't think you will tell me as he is already here beside you and me standing far away looking at the both of you in crying in pain sadness and pity for myself.

This will be my last straw, if you go home tonight, hold me into sleep and tell me that you loves me, I will believe you. I will hold onto this love but if you don't, I'll let you go to be with him and be happy. I will guarantee that this will be the very last day you will see and this will be the very last day that you will suffer as we are just arranged and I destroyed your relationship with him. Maybe this is my karma for all of what you've suffered being with me and I will accept it whole-heartedly. But please tell me that you really do love me and not him and I will pretend that I didn't saw you with him today. I will accept you with all my heart and will make you happy for the rest of our lives.

Later at night, he came back home with a very glowing smile on his face. It is as if he was in a very good mood and no one can change it. I smiled at him and asked him about his day even though I know that he spent it with his ex. I was hoping that he will tell me the truth and will apologize but nothing happened. No apology and no telling of truth. He's just there sitting in the couch smiling to himself.

I just finished washing my body and is now getting ready to sleep but I can't sleep thinking about what will happen in the future. Will he be with him and leave me alone? Or will he be with me? I don't know why I am still hoping for the latter when it was given that it was the former. I don't why I was still hoping that he will choose me instead of him. Maybe I really am holding onto my love for him but does he love me too? Or is this really a one-sided love as it was in the very beginning. I am hoping that he will do what my last straw is or else there's no choice but to let him go.

The morning came and I woke up with him turning his back on me. This is my sign. This is my cue to let him go and leave him alone. I stood up and prepared everything. I packed my clothes, my accessories, my important documents, my laptop and my phone. It was still early and Jaebeom will wake up much later today as today is Saturday, his day off so he'll sleep until noon. It was enough time for me to prepare myself from the pain and finally leave. Goodbye Jaebeom-ie. Saranghaeyo.

Dear Im Jaebeom,  
I know that all of what happened between us is nothing to you but was everything to me. I didn't say this just to guilt-trip you, I just want you to know that everything about us is so important and memorable to me. I will forever be grateful for the time that we spent together, for the moments that we shared together and for giving me the chance to love you. I am finally letting you go. I finally realized after all these years that I will never ever replace him in your heart but I did hope that I can. I want you to pursue him and be happy Jaebeom-ie. That is all I ask from you. Be happy with the person you really love the most. Please forget about me and what I done to you. I want you to forget a person named Park Jinyoung and that he ever existed in your life. Forget about the person who destroyed your relationship with your love. I deserve this. I deserve what I am feeling right now. I deserve this pain. It is nothing as to what I did to you. I shouldn't have come between two people in love. This is my karma.

Please love Youngjae with all your heart. Don't ever make him feel that he didn'y exist in your world. Don't make him question himself and lastly, even though you fell out of love, please take care of him and never let him cry.

Love,  
Park Jinyoung


End file.
